www.365daystofindlove.com

#365 Love is not about being single, it is about being social

Spring by definition is a time of rebirth. I don't want to assume or assert that winter has been bad or 'dreadful' by any means, but there is something about spring that makes me feel refreshed, recharged and ready to go.

 

The idea of budding new opportunities makes the sun feel warmer, closer and I find myself suddenly ready to hit the recently thawed out pavement and shed a few layers of clothing - in a very cold Canadian winter kinda way.

 

Spring is all about revisiting those seeds of spontaneity that you may have neglected during hibernation mode.

So, I want to invite you to explode onto the spring social scene and meet me for a ‘kiss’ at the ArtBomb Art Marketplace event!

 

INFO:

 

 
Winter ends and spring blooms. 
With the change comes new growth. 
With growth we blossom.
 
 
 

Marc and Angel, two passionate writers, life-hackers and “admirers of the human spirit,” have come up with an amazing list of 30 things to stop doing to yourself. If you like their list, make sure you check out their site and sign up to their amazing newsletter.

 #1. Stop spending time with the wrong people. – Life is too short to spend time with people who suck the happiness out of you. If someone wants you in their life, they’ll make room for you. You shouldn’t have to fight for a spot. Never, ever insist yourself to someone who continuously overlooks your worth. And remember, it’s not the people that stand by your side when you’re at your best, but the ones who stand beside you when you’re at your worst that are your true friends.

#2. Stop running from your problems. – Face them head on. No, it won’t be easy. There is no person in the world capable of flawlessly handling every punch thrown at them. We aren’t supposed to be able to instantly solve problems. That’s not how we’re made. In fact, we’re made to get upset, sad, hurt, stumble and fall. Because that’s the whole purpose of living – to face problems, learn, adapt, and solve them over the course of time. This is what ultimately molds us into the person we become.

#3. Stop lying to yourself. – You can lie to anyone else in the world, but you can’t lie to yourself. Our lives improve only when we take chances, and the first and most difficult chance we can take is to be honest with ourselves.

#4. Stop putting your own needs on the back burner. – The most painful thing is losing yourself in the process of loving someone too much, and forgetting that you are special too. Yes, help others; but help yourself too. If there was ever a moment to follow your passion and do something that matters to you, that moment is now.

#5. Stop trying to be someone you’re not. – One of the greatest challenges in life is being yourself in a world that’s trying to make you like everyone else. Someone will always be prettier, someone will always be smarter, someone will always be younger, but they will never be you. Don’t change so people will like you. Be yourself and the right people will love the real you.

#6. Stop trying to hold onto the past. – You can’t start the next chapter of your life if you keep re-reading your last one.

#7. Stop being scared to make a mistake. – Doing something and getting it wrong is at least ten times more productive than doing nothing. Every success has a trail of failures behind it, and every failure is leading towards success. You end up regretting the things you did NOT do far more than the things you did.

#8. Stop berating yourself for old mistakes. – We may love the wrong person and cry about the wrong things, but no matter how things go wrong, one thing is for sure, mistakes help us find the person and things that are right for us. We all make mistakes, have struggles, and even regret things in our past. But you are not your mistakes, you are not your struggles, and you are here NOW with the power to shape your day and your future. Every single thing that has ever happened in your life is preparing you for a moment that is yet to come.

#9. Stop trying to buy happiness. – Many of the things we desire are expensive. But the truth is, the things that really satisfy us are totally free – love, laughter and working on our passions.

#10. Stop exclusively looking to others for happiness. – If you’re not happy with who you are on the inside, you won’t be happy in a long-term relationship with anyone else either. You have to create stability in your own life first before you can share it with someone else.

I don't know about you but, if you share the same sentiments, deciding to fly the coop and enter the single skies was somewhat intimidating. I found solace at first, with the idea that I had a lot of couple friends to go out and socialize with but I soon realized that it did not facilitate or promote meeting new people.

Like a little bird, I knew I had to leave the comfort of my nest and spread my own wings. With no mother to bring the worms to me, (pardon the analogy, but let me have the creative license here) I had to fly the coop and search for my own sustenance.

That’s when I found a new meaning for the phrase "birds of a feather flock together"and the advantage of the "V' flying pattern.

That’s what a wingman is! Instead of you flying the blue skies on your own, you are the center bird flying with the support of other feathered friends. You all soar together, yet the strategic distance and formation of the group allows for others to join.

I am going out with my wingman tonight..i suggest you grab a friend and do the same.

I love being the wingman for my friends and 36 5members alike. if you ever want my help.....let me know!

Write to me and I will swoop down and show you how to fly!

This may be the answer to every mans dilemma. 

Join the 365love members and get social-"lite"

We got connected.... Let’s stay connected!

Over the last year I have shared my journey with everyone as well as posting stories submitted by 365 members that were inspired to let their voices be heard.

I have learned a lot about dating and relationships through my own experiences as well as a result of endless discussions with friends, family and total strangers I met along way. Just the words  "dating coach” or a flash my pretty pink card intrigue was evoked and conversation would just explode with passion and emotion. Everyone had a vested interest and opinion on the subject, be it positive, hopeful or sadly in some people interjected with doom and gloom.

Whether I met people on the street, in airports while traveling or at workshops and or events I hosted, the bottom line, people search for ways to socialize, meet new people in the hopes of finding companionship.

365 Love get connected is moving forward.

Coming this spring I will be offering a social calendar that will include various activities happening in and around Montreal. Anyone wishing to join can be part of the experience, including custom designed events and group coaching activities for #365love members. The soul intention is just to enjoy the city with great people that share the same passions in life or want to discover new ones such as private cooking classes, wine tastings and dance classes.

Come share the journey with me and lets get up, get out and get connected, together.  

XO

Cheryl

As 365 days to find love counted down to its one-year anniversary, I found myself reflecting not only about people and connections I made recently but as well on all my past relationships.

One may think I was not successful in my quest "to date" (pardon the pun) as I am not in a committed relationship yet, but I beg to differ.

I found that the most important part of this year of exploration and discovery had to do with meeting ME. Learning to like and appreciate myself with all my attributes as well as my imperfections.

I also gave myself permission to reflect on my past and contemplate my future without judgment.

I realized that we all have a past but I think its how we chose to acknowledge it that defines us. Many people talk of having "baggage “but I prefer to talk of my history.

I have loved and been loved as well as had my heart broken and had the broken blood vessels that marked my face from excessive crying to prove it.

I decided to celebrate the one-year anniversary of my 365-day journey by removing the marks that scared my face. I have all my memories of yesterday and have no regrets but I now am ready to face tomorrow with clearer perspective and skin!

Thank you Nataliya Zay of Mediart and her little magic wand known as LPG. The next 365daytofindlove is devoid of scars from the past.

Xo

Cheryl

As we all know, part of being single is having to field the constant inquires from parents, relatives, friends and sometimes even complete strangers as to why we are still single.  Here is one of the most amusing insights I have read from a fellow solo and #365Love Get Connected member Glenn Millar.

Thanks for the chuckle! 

XO Cheryl

No matter what your religion or ethnicity, it seems critically important to Mothers that you marry within your ethnic background.  If you are Asian, your Mother wants you to date other Asians.  If you are Catholic, you must marry another Catholic.  And, if you are Jewish then you should find a nice Jewish boy or girl.  

I can’t speak for other cultures, but in the case of Judaism there is a critical reason for marrying within the religion.  In this way, we ensure that the guilt chain is carried down from generation to generation.

Parents seem to get angry when you date outside of your ethnic background.  For instance, if you are Jewish, you can actually give your Mother a heart attack by dating a Catholic.  Frankly, I am not completely sure why this is, when Catholics and Jews have so much in common.

They both come with Mothers who are over-protective, but are really good cooks.  They both come with Mother’s who want lots of grandchildren and want them now.  And of course they both come with truckloads of guilt.  I suppose the difference is that in Catholicism the guilt comes from the entire religion whereas in Judaism, the guilt dispensary is handled exclusively by your Mother.

But both religions come with a Mother who considers it a personal affront, if not a mortal sin, that you are over 30, single and aren’t going to have children in the next 6 months.

Like all good Jewish Mothers, my Mother is always bugging me about getting married.  “Have you met any nice Jewish girls?” she will always ask me.  If I answer, “no”, she will invariably try and fix me up.  She thinks she is Yenta the Matchmaker.

She’ll say to me. “I have just the girl for you.” 

“Really Mom?  Who is she?”

“A woman in my bridge club.  Her Niece’s friend.  A nice girl,” she replies. 

“So you’ve never actually met her?” I ask.

“No, but she’d be perfect for you” 

"Thanks, Mom.  But, I don’t think so.”

“See if I care.  I should go to my grave with no grandchildren.” 

One time my Mother called me, once again, trying to fix me up.

“Glenn, you remember my friend, Doris Kilinivich?” 

“Yes, Mom.  But I didn’t know she had a daughter.”

“She doesn’t,” says my Mother.  “But her husband Morty’s been dead two years now.  Maybe you could ask her out.”

I’m always trying to get my Mother off my back about me still being single.  I had tried everything, but nothing worked.  When I moved to San Francisco I thought I had found a solution. You see, my Mother is extremely conservative.  So one time when she called and as usual asked, “Have you met any nice Jewish girls?” I decided to play on her worst fears. 

“Mom, you are not going to believe this.  I met the perfect person.  We are deeply and madly in love.  We have so much in common.  We do everything together.  Even the sex is incredible.  Mom, he is the nicest man you would ever want to meet.”

There was silence on the other end of the phone.  “I have her,”  I thought.  “I have finally shut her up.”

Then, finally, the sound of my Mother’s voice.  “So, is he Jewish?”

 

Glenn "Croc" Millar 

February 14th of 2013 was my official re-entry into the world of dating and it was a shock to my system, especially after being married for 25 years. I had so many unanswered questions that made me feel somewhat anxious

Would I ever meet someone?  I was told over and over there were no men out there.   How would I get to meet someone?  None of my friends knew anyone to introduce me to. And another whopper "how will it feel to get naked in front of someone new?"

That's basically how 365daystofindlove.com came to life.
  
I had all these concerns and questions when I started my journey, yet no matter whom I asked their response was always the same, "Your concerns are valid. There are not many good men out there and the ones that do exist want younger women!" 

Now, after almost a full year of dating I can dispel all those false assumptions-questions and statements and guess what? The same goes in reverse for men – I have heard many men tell me they have a hard time meeting nice women!
 
So from a divorced woman who’s been newly out in the dating world over the past year – here are some tips for those who wish to try and meet someone:

  1. Make a personal list of hobbies and passions and get out and do them.
  2. Boundaries. Set them and stick to them.  Know how you wish to be treated in a relationship and make sure that you are treated that way.
  3. Take your time with intimacy. I have a 6-date rule - dates full of conversation and laughs – but remember rules can always be broken. 
  4. Go slow.  In the work place we hire slow and fire fast  - but when it comes to relationships we hire fast and fire slow.  Foundations should be built strongly and you only have one opportunity to start at the ground level.
  5. Introduce your children only when you think your relationship may have wings. 

 
The rest is up to you! 
 
XO
Cheryl
 
Ps:  Make sure you come and visit me at The Solo Lifestyle Show Feb14-16. Register there in person for the trip for two to the Dominican Republic graciously provided by Viva Wyndham resorts, or you can register right here on my website. Just click on the link on the right.

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